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Feeling depressed
about the sorry state of your shoes or boots?
Think you should look 100% all the time? Think
you're good enough to be a Cadet Officer? Think
you can do better than your peers? If the answer
is "Yes!" to these questions, then read this!
Keeping your
appearance above 100% will never hinder your CAP
Cadet career, and having shiny shoes will make
you stand out from the crowd as someone who
cares about the way they look in uniform.
Spit and Polishing (aka.
"Bulling","Polishing" etc.) has been around for
many a moon, and there are about fifty different
methods handed down from airman to airman over
the years. The ones you are most likely to hear
about are:
-
Cheating -
using paints, varnish's etc. Basically
quick fixes that any good inspecting
Officer will pick up on in 2 seconds
flat. Top Tip: Don't do these!
Cotton Wool method - using a wad of
cotton balls, water and polish. This
method does work, but will not give a
very good results for reasons I will not
bore you with.
-
Bizarre
stories of using a spoons, irons and
other household implements to get big
layers of polish onto the shoe quickly.
Top Tip: Don't do these, of if you do,
don't say I said that you could when
your mother goes nuts because you have
used her best iron to polish with!
The method
I am going to be describing will use the
following implements:
-
You Your
finger Kiwi Shoe Polish (Black) -
must be Kiwi (its the best). If you
want to use Kiwi Parade Gloss, then be
warned that it contains paraffin which
will have a detrimental effect on the
quality of shine you achieve. I would
suggest you use the good old, standard
black Kiwi polish. A duster or soft rag
(you can get them from your local
supermarket) (Editor's note: Marines
will tell you to use a white cloth
diaper that's been washed a few times.)
The shoe or boot you wish to polish.
-
Some water
in a bowl if you are a wussy (more on
that later)
OK, here we go. This is not a quick fix, it
will take you hours (literally) to do this
properly, so the first thing to do is to
find a comfortable location. I would
heartily suggest an old chair (with
appropriate protective coverings to ensure
that polish doesn't get on the furniture -
you have been warned! Parents don't
appreciate black sofas!) in front of the TV.
Take a seat. Comfortable? Right then we will
begin:
Preparation
-
Take the top
off your newly acquired tin of Kiwi
Black shoe polish and observe the shiny
surface. Also note the smell. Kiwi is a
mix of oils, waxes and colorings, it has
a pungent odor. Become one with your tin
of polish, do not be put off by the
smell, it will not hurt you!
-
Pick up your
boot (if you are doing a shoe, then pick
up the shoe...for these purpose we are
doing a boot). The toe cap should be
free of mud, dirt and dust. Give it a
wipe with your nice new shiny duster. If
it is covered in filth, wash it all off
and leave them to dry and come back to
them later.
-
Are there any
large scratches or holes in the boots?
If yes, then the job will take longer:
more scratches = more time.
-
Pick up your
duster and wrap it around your index
finger. You are aiming for something
like:
Points to note:
-
The pad of
your finger (where your finger print is)
is smooth. That is, there are no
wrinkles in the duster. This is vital,
you will polish with the pad of your
finger.
-
The tin of
polish is open, cocked, locked and ready
to rock.
-
Take the pad
of your finger (the one with the cloth
wrapped around it) and apply some polish
to it from your Kiwi. When starting for
the first time take on a big load of
polish. You will use less and less
as you go on, but you need to build a
layer of polish to polish upon first, if
you see what I mean! When starting off,
aim for about this much
Layers and Applying
the Polish
In order to get the
"black mirror" effect i.e. when you look into
the toe cap you can see your own reflection, we
firstly need to talk about layers. Bulling (spit
and polishing) is about layers. You need to have
good base layers to polish upon further to
obtain the desired "black mirror" effect. When
you first start, you will need to apply thick
layers, once you have got enough thick layers
onto the leather, you will have a surface you
can turn into glass!
OK, here we go.
-
Take your
duster with the polish on it and apply
it to the toe cap of your boot in a
circular motion. Do not press
hard, you only need to have a slight
pressure on the pad of your finger.
The first thing you
will notice is that whilst polishing, it feels
"rough" and is almost putting pressure back onto
the duster, making the process harder. This is
because you need to lubricate the polish being
applied. This is where your small amount of
water comes in (if you are a wussy). Personally,
I do not use water, I use spit, hence "spit and
polish". If you use water, you run the risk of
having too much, which is bad, as it dulls the
polish. The perfect amount of liquid required
for this process can be found on your tongue.
Now before we go on:
I hereby absolve
myself from blame of anyone who is daft enough
to swallow polish, the duster or the boot itself
and consequently damage themselves in any way.
Just so I don't get sued.
If you wish to use
the water, then fine, but for this
demonstration, I will use my tongue. Dab the pad
of your finger (with the duster with the polish
on it) onto your tongue. Start applying the
polish again in a circular motion. Whenever you
feel the pressure or roughness coming back,
apply more liquid to the cloth not to the boot
itself. Spitting on the boot puts too much
liquid on.
Top Tip: The circular motion is vital. Aim
for a motion of about an inch in diameter. Too
small, and you will be there all day, too big
and you don't really achieve anything.
Swirls and moving on with
the process
OK, when you are
applying the polish (in a circular motion), you
will see polish "swirls". Do not be afraid, this
is quite normal and healthy.
"Phew" I hear you
say! Swirls are good, they show that you are
doing it right. As you keep polishing, the
swirls will start to go away. This too, is very
normal, it indicates that it is time for the
next layer.
I stated that you
will need big layers at first, depending on the
state of the toe cap. More scrapes and scratches
= more layers required. Your next layer should
be as thick as the first one.
Start your next
layer, when it feels "rough", apply more liquid,
when the swirls start to go away, apply your
next layer!
You are now
"Bulling"!! Congratulations....you have half a
brain! Now it gets interesting....
Recognizing the Signs
When you have been
applying thick layers for some time, you will
notice that you are beginning to build up a
thick layer of polish over the toe cap, the
scratches and scrapes will start to disappear
the more layers you apply. A good indication of
when enough is enough is when the surface of the
toe cap is smooth: there are no scratches,
potholes or anything else to be seen apart from
a smooth surface.
Many people ask me
how long it takes to get to to this stage. My
standard answer is that it depends on the state
of the boot, how long you have been "bulling"
for overall and how much time and effort you
have put into the process. I said it takes hours
and I wasn't kidding.
For an inexperienced
Cadet (first timer, newbie etc), to get to the
"smooth" state:
One boot will take around (ish) 1.5 hours
therefore Two boots will take around three
hours,
For an experienced "Buller",
to get to the "smooth" state:
One boot will take around 3/4 to an hour
therefore Two boots will take around two hours.
It is totally
dependant on the state of the boot and skill
level.
Finishing Off
Once you have
reached the "smooth" state, you can now turn the
shoes into "black mirrors" or "glass". To do
this, start to reduce the amount of polish you
use on each layer. As you carry on, reducing the
amount of polish with each layer, you will start
to see the boot start to gleam. They are getting
really shiny. Don't think you are finished yet!
Keep going with the
layers until you are only having to use a spot
of polish:
You should be able to
see your own reflection in the toe cap now, if
you can then WELL DONE! If you can't, here's
some more top tips:
Top Tip: You will
know if you are using too much liquid because
the surface becomes "duller" quickly, to fix
this, use more polish to soak up the liquid.
To finish the
process, simply polish away the last of the
swirls from the last layer. And there you are,
some highly polished shoes or boots any Warrant
Officer would be proud of! Good effort!
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